To Connie with Joy!

I've been thinking about my friend Connie this week. She passed away just a year ago, from cancer. She had more joy in her heart than anyone I've ever met. She loved life and she loved her Lord. Whatever He had in mind, she accepted with grace, dignity, and a special joy. Her joy was contagious and she apparently had an overabundance because she shared her joy with everyone and like loaves & fishes, it grew and grew.

Having a bad day (or thought you were)? Somehow, Connie knew. More than once I found a card in my mailbox on just the day I needed it most. Sometimes a thank you, sometimes words of encouragement. Or the phone would ring and she'd ask a favor. The favor always did more for me than it took from me. And it wasn't just me; she had this knack with so many of us. She'd let us think we were the ones giving and later we'd realize that we were the ones who were filled with gratitude.

She loved her family. She loved her home. She loved her dog, Rosie. She loved watching the geese that wandered around outside her home. She loved her Starbucks. She loved sitting on her porch watching the plants and the birds and the sky and the clouds. And she loved writing about all these things. When cabin fever would set in she loved car rides, especially around the lake.

Connie, we miss the way your eyes lit up when you smiled and the way you made every day so special. We miss you, we all still love you and we still feel your joy as you smile down on us.

It's a New Day!

After a week of being so sick I thought I'd have to die to get well, I woke this morning and found the sun shining, the world bright and cheery, and the pets hungry. Of course, the pets are always hungry so that was not exactly a startling revelation. I have much to do today but after giving thanks for waking feeling like a human again (and, as always at my age, for waking in general), I've decided it's time to get back to A View From the Porch Rocker. Seeing as how Mother Nature takes us to task once again tomorrow, I'd best be taking all advantage of today that I can. That and the fact that I can feel Judi's (Beauty & Bread) boot in my backside.) The floors can be washed, the laundry done, and all that other fun stuff tomorrow while it's raining.

Let me introduce you to my "porch rocker". As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted a long or wrap-around front porch and it had to have what I envision as an old-fashioned southern rocker - white. My current home has a porch half the length of the house. Two years ago last Christmas the young couple living next to me, who had taken me under their wing and become family, cut back on some other things they wanted and found a made to last, all weather, "some assembly required" porch rocker (white). Tim got out his tools and the instructions and with cheering on and encouragement from Susan, on Christmas morning they were on my front porch with my heart's desire. This rocker not only represents a life-long wish, and a very special Christmas, but reminds me how fortunate I was to have those two in my life during the two years the Lord shared them with me. No mother has ever been cared for better by a daughter and son-in-law like I was by these two kids. I'm still wrapped in love every time I sit and rock (or blog). Unfortunately for me, they've since relocated back to Texas but we visit regularly by phone and email and we've all discovered Facebook. We spend time looking to the day when they can come back to Oakhurst on vacation. So, for now, I think I'll put aside the "to-do list" and just sit and rock and take in the View From The Porch Rocker.

Another Year Has Passed

Six years ago this morning, my husband, my sweetie, my best friend & sparring partner was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He spent the entire day in emergency with my son and myself. He'd been fighting lung cancer since February of the previous year (that we knew of) and he was shutting down. At 10pm he was finally taken to a room and was "made comfortable" and was stabilized. We stayed another half hour or so and since he was finally able to sleep, we went home to make arrangements for hospice and to get some rest. At 2:am my phone rang and the nurse suggested I get to the hospital as quickly as possible. That 20 minute drive took me a little less than 5 minutes but I was too late. I hurried down the hallway and was stopped by his nurse. Before he had a chance to tell me anything, my cell rang and it was my stepson. All these years later it still amazes me that my son held him throughout that day and his son held me that evening to help me keep it together while I was told and assimilated the fact that my husband, his dad, had passed away.

Like any widow, every year at this time I'm flooded with memories. Moments we shared, places we went, things we did, people we did all those things with. The animals with me now are the same ones we had then. Katie takes excellent care of me, I don't know what I'd have done without her. She was and is a true gift.

I think of all the summers with "our" kids and grandkids. They weren't his or hers, they were ours. They originally brought their dogs and Grandpa would say, "I want two-legged grandkids." One summer we looked out over the pool and Grandpa had his wish and the family grew from there.

I'm sure the fishing is better where you are and that you're enjoying playing cards and horseshoes with our folks. I'm equally sure Cocoa and George are wandering in and out between your legs vying for attention. I know you're watching and are proud of our kids and grandkids. The grandkids have grown into fine young people. I miss our family summer week and all the chaos. I miss Christmas Eve at Grandpa Lonnie's and Easter's become a tough time for me. I miss our family. Mostly, I miss us!!!

But more than anything, I miss my best friend and partner. Keep a place next to you at the fishing hole for me. I love you!!!

Sometimes Friends May Be Angels In Disguise

Saturday, friends came to "visit". They brought yard tools of every kind and a few tools of other kinds. The meadow in front of my yard and the hill alongside was an absolute disaster(at least to me), my pond needed post winter help, and there were other joys of home ownership that needed attention. Two couples from Fresno and their youngsters came up for the day and transformed Tobacco Road back to Contreras' Corner. (My fish even popped their heads up with the pond cleared and the filters cleaned.) My major participation was to feed all these people (and I did participate with the pond and taking the blower to the deck and the front of the property). They weed-whacked, they cleared brush, blew off the roof, built my new patio set, and so many little things. I felt somewhat useless but they never let me feel worthless. What a gift! It was pretty much an all day project and I don't think anyone was able to move Sunday. They'll be back in a couple of weeks to finish up what didn't get done this weekend. My assignment: have a new list ready.

I feel truly blessed to have friends like this. Friends who have stayed with me through the years since Larry passed away and I relocated. I know I'm still cared for by people I spent all those years with. I didn't just disappear out of their lives. I feel blessed because I'd expected to be able to continue to do all that I was doing as short a time ago as 3 and 4 years. Yeah, well!

How do you thank people like this? Not just for the work but for the caring and love they showed as well. Mike, Jennifer, Cameron, Wesley, Christie, Ron, & Lisa ... you're in my heart and in my prayers! Many thanks and much love to you all. If you don't smarten up before then, I"ll see you again in a couple of weeks.

"El Bandito" strikes again, and again

A couple of months ago I took a mini-cruise and one of the ports of call was Ensenada. That event is another story for another time. I only mention it because while we were there, I managed to get in a little shopping. I was looking for something very special for the couple who give Katie a home if I'm away. And, surprise, I found it. Doug & Jackie have a couple of bird feeding stations with feeders and wind chimes and other cool decorative stuff. Wandering in and out of the mercados, I found a set of hanging, colorful, earthenware pots. One large half-pot with 5 small pots hanging from it by twine. Jackie filled these small pots with bird seed and hung it out with her other decorations. The birds loved it and it looked great where it was.

A week or so ago she looked outside to see a squirrel chewing for all he was worth on one of the lengths of twine. While she was watching, down came the pot (all in one piece with seed still in it) and she watched as he picked it up, by the rim, in his teeth, and carried it off to his den in a nearby tall pine. Over the next few days, his entire mission in life has been to decorate his den in mexican earthenware pottery. He returns repeatedly and, one by one, has stolen all but the large pot and the last small one. I expect the last small one will be gone by the weekend, it was only hanging by a thread this afternoon.

You have to give the little guy credit for perseverance, not to mention a relatively high IQ for a pea size brain. You also have to wonder what his den looks like and just how large it is. I can imagine his wife throwing out all the old furniture, or at least rearranging it, to make room for her new pottery. And where are they going to keep the babies ... in the pots? How many in a litter, anyway?

Meanwhile, Jackie will watch to see how long before the last small pot is gone. And,sorry but No, I'm not going back to Ensenada any time soon.

It's Just a Piece of Hardware

I unplugged the microwave oven last night and we’ve moved it out to the shed. It was raining buckets so we’ll wait to hold services before it goes to the electronic recycle center. It wasn’t just any old microwave oven, it had history, it had a story, it had sentimental value, it was family.

When Grampa Lonnie, my father-in-law, was sick (we later discovered it was terminal cancer) my husband Larry would go to L.A. and spend long weekends helping with repairs around the house and yard, doing things that Grampa couldn’t do anymore. He came home following one of these weekends with a large box. To thank him for his help, Grampa had bought us a brand new microwave oven. Now we already had a microwave oven and it was a built-in. This one was twice the size and it was too large even for a countertop. What to do?

My step daughters recommended that dad take it back to Circuit City and exchange it for something we could actually use. Dad said, “No.” His dad had given it to us and we might hurt his feelings. The girls felt that since Grampa wouldn’t be making any more trips to Fresno, and no one was going to say anything to him, he wouldn’t know and besides he’d want us to have something we needed. Dad said, “No.” The microwave was repacked and placed in the garage.

Grampa was a character! He was head of the family, no questions asked. He had stories from the days of the man with the tall hat (Abe Lincoln) and more stories of his time in the war, he was in the army conservation corp. He took his family camping and fishing and those of us who joined the family quickly learned these things and learned to enjoy them. I remember the first time we met. As Larry and I walked out to the car, Grampa stopped me and kissed me on both cheeks and said, “it’s been a pleasure knowing you.” After we were in the car and had pulled away, I looked at Larry and said, “so tell me again, is it your mom or dad who’s Italian, ‘cuz I think I may have just been given “the kiss.” Fortunately, it was his mom who was Italian. Grampa could heal everything from a splinter to a laceration; he was the original MacGuyver. And he loved his family … all his family. I loved Grampa like he was my very own.

Some months after relegating the new microwave to the garage, our built-in microwave died. I searched high and low for a replacement but had no luck. For one reason or another, I decided one day to pull it out of its hidey-hole and I discovered that the hole was much larger than it appeared. The former owners had placed risers, spacers, and a large frame to accommodate this small oven. I measured the inside of the hole and checked the dimensions on Grampa’s microwave and promptly called my daughter-in-law to come over and help me install “our new microwave oven.” I removed the risers, spacers, and frame, built a smaller frame, and between the two of us we placed the new oven in its new home, I re-framed the hole, and we were back in business. When my husband called that evening and asked if I’d yet found a replacement, I was able to tell him, “yes,” it had been waiting patiently in our garage and it was now installed and working as Grampa had intended.

Grampa passed away in 2002 and my husband in 2004. When I sold the house, I removed the microwave oven and put in another. I brought “Grampa’s” microwave to the new house with me. A little over a year ago it started showing signs of quitting but I kept nursing it along. It’s part of my family. It’s the last thing Grampa gave us. I’m emotionally attached to this piece of hardware. I could live with it turning itself off before it was done but recently it started turning itself on - without me even being in the room. Considering the potential fire hazard, it’s time has come. It hurts because I saw Grampa whenever I used the one he gave us. I’ve lost another piece of my family.

Thanks, Grampa! Even if it did have to live in the garage for months first, it made Larry happy that we were able to use it; it made me happy to retain this little part of you. It served us well for almost 10 years. I miss you all!

A Weekend Visit

I have some special friends down in Fresno. We've been friends for going on ten years. They started going to the church where I was going and we discovered that he worked at the post office with my son. It didn't start off as any great, made in heaven, friendship. She and I were/are both control freaks and it took some doing for each of us to find our place without tromping all over the other one. But when it's meant to be, it works itself out. We've been good friends ever since. They're like a second family to me. (They're who spent Easter with me and helped me take flowers to my husband's grave.) The boys are 19 and 13 (days from 14) and the older boy and his "adopted grandma" have become very close.

He came up this weekend just to hang out and keep me company. He has friends in the area but decided he could see them "later." We watched a couple of movies, shared a pizza, he helped me with some chores that are difficult for me to do alone and, being a modern teenager, was able to hook up a TV set in "his" room and reconfigure my computer for me. He's great company. We actually talk with each other. He's equally comfortable going to his room to catch up on homework. Neither of us feels that we have to entertain the other. He's a great help with the day to day tasks and doesn't expect to be waited on (kudos to mom). Katie and the felines love him and the feeling's mutual - this is a good thing.

Next weekend the whole family's coming up with some other friends I haven't seen in a long time and they're throwing a work party and helping to clear the weeds and brush and take care of all the little things that I can't do anymore but which are vastly important up here. I just have to pray for clear weather and get my family gathering cooking utensils out. Isn't life wonderful?!

Want to Read to the Dog?

It was "Library Day" today. Once a month I take Katie to the library for a children's reading circle. The kids come to "read to the dog." Many kids who are having trouble reading won't read out loud in front of their peers or grownups. Their peers make fun of them and grownups correct them (in front of their peers - double whammy.) But they will read to the dog. The dog makes no judgments, she just lays there and watches, rolling over occasionally for a belly rub. I've seen youngsters who absolutely were not going to read, pick up a book, read to the dog and go back for another. Their confidence grows, they improve still more, and they develop a love for reading. And - they get to pet and play with the dog...in a library.

Katie wore her Easter bunny ears when we first arrived. The kids get a big kick out of her get ups and actions. Today we had some little ones in the mix. They "read" a story from the pictures they see. The older kids were as enthusiastic as the little ones even though they have to work at some words. They almost all turn the book for her to see the pictures.

As always, Katie got more than her share of loving and petting and she gave plenty of puppy kisses. Library Day is a good day for all of us!