Another Year Has Passed

Six years ago this morning, my husband, my sweetie, my best friend & sparring partner was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He spent the entire day in emergency with my son and myself. He'd been fighting lung cancer since February of the previous year (that we knew of) and he was shutting down. At 10pm he was finally taken to a room and was "made comfortable" and was stabilized. We stayed another half hour or so and since he was finally able to sleep, we went home to make arrangements for hospice and to get some rest. At 2:am my phone rang and the nurse suggested I get to the hospital as quickly as possible. That 20 minute drive took me a little less than 5 minutes but I was too late. I hurried down the hallway and was stopped by his nurse. Before he had a chance to tell me anything, my cell rang and it was my stepson. All these years later it still amazes me that my son held him throughout that day and his son held me that evening to help me keep it together while I was told and assimilated the fact that my husband, his dad, had passed away.

Like any widow, every year at this time I'm flooded with memories. Moments we shared, places we went, things we did, people we did all those things with. The animals with me now are the same ones we had then. Katie takes excellent care of me, I don't know what I'd have done without her. She was and is a true gift.

I think of all the summers with "our" kids and grandkids. They weren't his or hers, they were ours. They originally brought their dogs and Grandpa would say, "I want two-legged grandkids." One summer we looked out over the pool and Grandpa had his wish and the family grew from there.

I'm sure the fishing is better where you are and that you're enjoying playing cards and horseshoes with our folks. I'm equally sure Cocoa and George are wandering in and out between your legs vying for attention. I know you're watching and are proud of our kids and grandkids. The grandkids have grown into fine young people. I miss our family summer week and all the chaos. I miss Christmas Eve at Grandpa Lonnie's and Easter's become a tough time for me. I miss our family. Mostly, I miss us!!!

But more than anything, I miss my best friend and partner. Keep a place next to you at the fishing hole for me. I love you!!!